When someone passes, it is a challenging subject. When it is somebody who is one of our heroes, it tends to affect us all. They seem invincible in our eyes and if they can fall… our lives tend to feel more fragile. How do we talk to our kids and others about grief.
Neal Phalora, TheBrainWarrior: Brain and Mindset Coach, shares 4 ways to make dealing with grief easier.
- Understand that grief is not a logical process.
We often feel like we have to keep our grieving within the societal norms.. Grieving is a very individualized process. Do the things that allow you to express how you feel.
- Be sure you’re addressing the emotion.
Often talking or expressing things that are perceived as negative is only en vogue for a short period of time. Once the hubbub is gone, what do we do with an emotion that often needs addressing long-term. Be sure to seek out personal and professional contacts. Much like you would do a spring or fall cleaning, keep your practices regular.
- Don’t Fix: Listening, talking, and just being there.
Often when people pass we have a lot of verbatim’s like ”I’m sorry for your loss.” But what we really need is someone just to listen without trying to fix the emotion. That’s why we avoid negative emotions. Because so often we are confronted with someone who’s trying to quickly fix it for us.and not allow us to feel so that we can move through it.
- Younger people are just mini adults: same emotions.
Depending on the age, encourage your younger people to stay off social media feeds. Social anxiety has become much higher due in part to the fact that the same story can be re-digested over and over. The easiest way to start a conversation is for you as a parent to be transparent of how it made you feel. Set an example of expressing emotions and creating a safe space. Validate any feelings they express…. “ You know it does suck.“ Listen but don’t pry.
To learn more, visit www.TheBrainWarrior.com.