Editor’s Note: Take Two is a series of blog posts chronicling the experiences of three WISH-TV anchors (Lauren Lowrey, Kylie Conway and Amber Hankins) who have been pregnant together in 2018. Each woman is expecting her second child and each will have a baby boy.
This post has been reprinted from Amber’s Facebook page.
INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) — “When the little things in life turn out to be the big things. And the thought of missing out on them steals a little piece of your soul.”
Ever since I found out I was having a little boy, my mind started brainstorming on how I could decorate his nursery. After all, all I’ve ever known is “all things girl.” I found myself pondering this idea and that idea but knew I wanted something that would grow with him for several years.
His daddy played professional baseball for 11 years, so a sports theme seemed to fit, but I wanted to put a twist on it, with basketball included. Something vintage. Retro. A “throwback” kind of feel. Boom. That was it!
So, I got to work. If you know me, you know I love detail. And design that tells a story. I found pieces from all over and slowly but surely, it all came together. But this room was about so much more than wall hangings or vintage sports pillows. It was the journey I shared with this little boy growing in my belly, and I couldn’t wait for him to see what his momma made for him.
Already, this room was so full of moments…of memories…of the days I’d carry him so heavily in my belly from one store to the next, trying to find that next perfect piece for his wall. How I’d “talk” to him, asking if he’d like this better or that better, assuming he’d just always agree with my “taste.”
I sat in this room the other night while rocking Ledger to sleep, and the tears started to fall. I remember the days just after my liver condition diagnosis, I would wake up in the middle of the night so scared. I couldn’t feel him move, and I panicked. I cried in a shriek to my husband, “He’s not moving, I can’t feel any kicks.” Oh, I just sobbed, as stillbirth was a very real consequence of this diagnosis. I hurriedly went downstairs, drank some orange juice, and five minutes later, my baby boy gave me a tiny jab. I cried again.. but this time, tears of joy.
Rocking Ledger while recalling that moment, all I could think of was, “What if I had to come home to his room, but no baby to hold? What if he came home to his room, but no mommy to rock him?”
Oh, goodness gracious.
Some thoughts are too real, too heartbreaking to even ponder. And I’m so thankful that I don’t have to live either one of those painful truths. I have him and he has me.
For us, this room marks a beginning, a middle and an end. A beginning that started with a dream in my heart. A middle that embraced every part of it coming true. And an end that brought that same dream right into my arms.
One room. One journey. One beautiful baby boy. Tears of happiness and tears of joy, all at the same time.
Sometimes in life, a room is just a room. But sometimes…oh, how sometimes, a simple room really is…so, so much more.