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Want to yeet your ex’s name into a tornado?

Throwing your ex’s name into a tornado

INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) — Looking for closure after the end of a relationship? Or maybe looking for sweet, sweet revenge against those who’ve wronged you?

For this Valentine’s Day, the Indiana Storm Chasers are offering a uniquely “twisted” way to help make that happen.

For five bucks, you can have the name of your ex (or a family member you don’t like, a teacher who failed you in the 7th grade, your boss, etc.) carved into a biodegradable weather probe and launched into a tornado, storm, or any other flavor of severe weather possible.

The Chasers spread word of this offering on social media, including the Nobel Prize-winning poem: “Roses are red / Violets are blue / Tornadoes suck / and your ex does, too!”

While the probes decorated by the unfortunate letters of your enemy’s name might not be thrown into a tornado, the Chasers say they guarantee “(the probe) will meet its demise and be chewed on by a severe thunderstorm somewhere in Indiana during the 2024 Chase Season.”

To help sustain the environment, each probe is made of water-soluble clay and packed full of wildflower seeds native to the Midwest. When the probes get torn up in the storms, not only will they collect data, but also scatter the seeds across the land.

“It’s the final chance for your ex to do something useful (even if it took you doing it for them…again),” they said.

Additionally, the Chasers say money from the fundraiser will help purchase instrument packs for Chasers to use while out analyzing storms, calling it a “massive win for the environment, you, and the Indiana Storm Chasers.”

“We look forward to using your ex (in spirit) as tornado food soon,” the post concluded.

If you would like to donate and launch your ex into the troposphere, follow the Indiana Storm Chasers on their Patreon.