The Holidays are supposed to the most wonderful time of the year. The truth is that holidays bring a lot of stress. Many people say they feel the pressures from family, finances, and their own mental health.

Neal Phalora, The Brain Warrior – Brain and Mindset Coach, shares 5 ways to beat those holidays blues.

1. Avoid family drama by rehearsing how you are going to react
   How families look may have changed but button/triggers they push have not. Studies have show that mental rehearsal can be just as beneficial as the real situation. Athletes have used this for years off the court. If you are triggered by mother, brother, and or cousin…rehearse a way being asked about your life or decisions. Or being clam when your parents squabble and you change the subject.
2. Focus more on experiences and less on gifts
   You may not be able to change the narrative to have you family dinner out or go on vacation instead of gifts. You can control what you want to experience. If you focus on just gifts, we can’t control the outcome of gift giving or how get together will turn out. Instead focus on three ways that you want others to experience you – Joyful, Relax, and Authentic. By doing this you will use less energy trying to manage others, and the more others will get on board with how you are showing up.
3. Set boundaries now – when you are available and what you can spend?
   These relate to the biggest stressors of time and money regardless of the time of year. What happens during Christmas is that we caught up in the expectation of others. So we spend without clear plan. Write out physical budget that you can hold and look at in your own hand writing. If that does work get envelopes with names and money inside each one. And when it comes to time, communicate early and often. When don’t let others know our boundaries here we feel victimized. It is a matter of self worth.
4. Make your own Naughty and Nice List – What do you really enjoy?
   Think about all the things you do in holiday season: Cook, clean, shop, travel, bake, even eating & drinking. Make a list of all those activities. Rate them 1-5. Do I really enjoy these. If I am doing these with fear, obligation, guilt 1-3.- Naughty list. If they raise your vibration and you enjoy them 4-5 – Nice list. It is process to bring awareness to all of our “doingness” and make sure you know WHY you are doing them.
5. When things are stressful have a lifeline – Try 2x breath
   So we don’t have to always have to reach for liquid courage,…Our breath is an amazing destressor. But we need to know how to breathe. One of biggest nerves in our body controls many functions like heart rate, digestion, and breathing. You can calm this nerve and yourself by simply inhaling 4 seconds but exhaling for 8. But you need to breath with your belly like babies breath and not a chest breath like stressed out adults to do. I love this because you can do this anywhere without drawing attention to yourself.

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Email: neal@thebrainwarrior.com