CAMBY, Ind. (WISH) — Hope is not often associated with loss, not when there are other feelings so close to a person’s heart.
“My sensory memory comes back and I can feel her skin on my lips again,” said Sara Christensen as she looked at a picture of her lips touching her daughter’s forehead.
“I just held her close and wanted to breathe life back into her. You can’t do that as much as your heart feels like it’s going to explode, trying to will something back to life,” she said.
The life she wanted to breathe back was her daughter’s, Katherine Joy.
“I just remember being so happy when we found out we were pregnant with her even in the ultrasound you could tell she had a button nose,” said Christensen.
She said Katherine was her best pregnancy, until it came time for delivery.
“When we were on our way to the hospital, the pain just got worse and worse and worse and I actually had my husband pull over and make him call an ambulance, and at some point while we were waiting for the ambulance that’s when I believe my uterus ruptured,” said Christensen.
“They were trying to find her heartbeat and they couldn’t find her heartbeat.”
No heartbeat. And slowly, no hope.
“I was really just kind of holding on at that point and when they said that she was gone, I was like ‘okay. I can go now, I can die now, too,”‘ she said.
She held on and got to see her baby girl.
“As soon as we saw her, she did have a button nose. She was just very beautiful, very, very beautiful baby and just recovering from all of that was very difficult,” said Christensen.
Losing her, burying her and then hoping people would remember her.
“My biggest fear has been that nobody else will know her and love her,” she said.
Her baby’s memory is captured on a wall in their home full of pictures and mementos.
Her baby’s memory will also live on in boxes that will be delivered to hospitals with the help of an organization called Hope Mommies.
“Hope Boxes are usually done in honor of a baby who has gone to heaven too soon.”
There’s a scripture card, encouraging note, bath bombs and tea that will be delivered to moms who leave the hospital without their baby.
“It’s not a magic box that is going to erase their feelings and sadness but it can help bring healing and comfort,” Christensen said.
It also brings hope from one mom who has experienced loss to another.
Christensen is hoping to send 20 Hope Boxes to hospitals. You can help her by going to this website and choosing her name, Sara Christensen under the option for “Gatherings Hosted By.”